Three Circles in Your Life
Three Circles in Your Life
Here is a very simple way to understand it.
Imagine three circles around you:
- Circle of Control
- Circle of Influence
- Circle of Concern
The closer to you, the more power you have.
1. Circle of Control (your superpower zone)
These are things you can directly decide and do.
- What you say and how you say it
- Your actions and habits (study, exercise, sleep, work)
- How you react to problems
- How you manage your time and focus
- What you choose to learn
Example:
You cannot control an exam paper, but you can control how well you prepare, how you manage your time during the exam, and how calm you stay.
This is your strongest zone. The more you focus here, the better your life becomes.
2. Circle of Influence (you can affect it, but not fully control)
These are things you cannot control alone, but you can affect them.
- Your relationship with friends and family
- How your team works at school or office
- How your boss or teacher sees you
- Some rules at work or in your community
Example:
You cannot control your friend's mood, but you can listen, support, and speak kindly. This may improve how they feel and how they behave with you.
You have some power here, but not 100%. Others also play a role.
3. Circle of Concern (you worry, but have no real power)
These are things you think about or worry about, but you cannot change directly.
- Weather
- Traffic
- World news, politics, wars, economy
- What random people think about you
- Your past (you cannot change what already happened)
Example:
You may worry about a recession or a war, but you alone cannot stop it.
If you spend too much time here, you feel stressed, angry, or helpless.
Why this idea is so useful
- When you focus on your Circle of Control, you feel stronger and more confident.
- When you act in your Circle of Influence, over time your impact on people and situations grows.
- When you stay stuck in your Circle of Concern, you feel weak and anxious, because nothing changes.
A simple rule:
- Put most of your energy into what you can control.
- Use some energy to gently influence others and your surroundings.
- Notice your concerns, but don't live inside them.
Quick everyday examples
You're late because of traffic:
- Concern: traffic jam.
- Control: leave earlier next time, choose another route, inform people you'll be late calmly.
You're scared about exams:
- Concern: how hard the paper will be, how others will perform.
- Control: how much you study, practice, sleep, and your mindset.
You're upset about negative news:
- Concern: global events.
- Control: how much news you consume, how you support people around you, how you take care of yourself.
Three Circles in Your Life
Here is a very simple way to understand it.
Imagine three circles around you: Circle of Control, Circle of Influence, and Circle of Concern. The closer to you, the more power you have.
Understanding the Three Circles
| Circle | What It Means | What's Inside | Example | Key Insight |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Circle of Control (your superpower zone) | Things you can directly decide and do | • What you say and how you say it • Your actions and habits (study, exercise, sleep, work)< • How you react to problems • How you manage your time and focus • What you choose to learn |
You cannot control an exam paper, but you can control how well you prepare, how you manage your time during the exam, and how calm you stay. | This is your strongest zone. The more you focus here, the better your life becomes. |
| Circle of Influence (you can affect it, but not fully control) | Things you cannot control alone, but you can affect them | • Your relationship with friends and family • How your team works at school or office • How your boss or teacher sees you • Some rules at work or in your community |
You cannot control your friend's mood, but you can listen, support, and speak kindly. This may improve how they feel and how they behave with you. | You have some power here, but not 100%. Others also play a role. |
| Circle of Concern (you worry, but have no real power) | Things you think about or worry about, but you cannot change directly | • Weather • Traffic • World news, politics, wars, economy • What random people think about you • Your past (you cannot change what already happened) |
You may worry about a recession or a war, but you alone cannot stop it. | If you spend too much time here, you feel stressed, angry, or helpless. |
Why This Idea Is So Useful
| Focus Area | Result |
|---|---|
| Focus on your Circle of Control | You feel stronger and more confident |
| Act in your Circle of Influence | Over time your impact on people and situations grows |
| Stay stuck in your Circle of Concern | You feel weak and anxious, because nothing changes |
A Simple Rule:
- Put most of your energy into what you can control
- Use some energy to gently influence others and your surroundings
- Notice your concerns, but don't live inside them
Quick Everyday Examples
| Situation | Circle of Concern | Circle of Control |
|---|---|---|
| You're late because of traffic | Traffic jam | • Leave earlier next time • Choose another route • Inform people you'll be late calmly |
| You're scared about exams | • How hard the paper will be • How others will perform |
• How much you study • Practice • Sleep • Your mindset |
| You're upset about negative news | Global events | • How much news you consume • How you support people around you • How you take care of yourself |
If you want, next message can be: "Give me practice questions so I can test if I understood this."